Collection of Serious and Funny Father’s Day Quotes

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Words such as Father’s Day, Pos and Dad are currently trending in Twitter and Facebook, together with Game 3 of the NBA Finals. It’s father’s day and the world is celebrating it. Thanks to all the fathers out there who have been faithful as fathers the quotes below are dedicated to all of you.

One father is more than a hundred schoolmasters.
17th century English proverb

A father is a man who expects his children to be as good as he meant to be.
Carol Coats

Be kind to thy father, for when thou wert young, who loved thee so fondly as he? He caught the first accents that fell from thy tongue, and joined in thy innocent glee.
Margaret Courtney

I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father’s protection.
Sigmond Freud
Ernest Hemingway
To be a successful father, there’s one absolute rule: when you have a kid, don’t look at it for the first two years.

Red Buttons
Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.

Bill Cosby
If the new American father feels bewildered and even defeated, let him take comfort from the fact that whatever he does in any fathering situation has a fifty percent chance of being right.

Robert Orben
Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother rather than all major credit cards.

When Charles first saw our child Mary, he said all the proper things for a new father. He looked upon the poor little red thing and blurted, “She’s more beautiful than the Brooklyn Bridge.” – Helen Hayes

In 1900, fathers prayed their children would learn English.

Today, fathers pray their children will speak English.

In 1900, a father’s horsepower meant his horses.

Today, it’s the size of his minivan.

In 1900, if a father put a roof over his family’s head, he was a success.

Today, it takes a roof, deck, pool, and 4-car garage. And that’s just the vacation home.

In 1900, a father waited for the doctor to tell him when the baby arrived.

Today, a father must wear a smock, know how to breathe, and make sure film is in the video camera.

In 1900, fathers passed on clothing to their sons.

Today, kids wouldn’t touch Dad’s clothes if they were sliding naked down an icicle.

In 1900, fathers could count on children to join the family business.

Today, fathers pray their kids will soon come home from college long enough to teach them how to work the computer and set the VCR.

In 1900, fathers pined for old country Romania, Italy, or Russia.

Today, fathers pine for old country Hank Williams.

In 1900, a father smoked a pipe.

If he tries that today, he gets sent outside after a lecture on lip cancer.

In 1900, fathers shook their children gently and whispered, “Wake up, it’s time for school.”

Today, kids shake their fathers violently at 4 a.m., shouting: “Wake up, it’s time for hockey practice.”

In 1900, a father came home from work to find his wife and children at the supper table.

Today, a father comes home to a note: “Jimmy’s at baseball, Cindy’s at gymnastics, I’m at adult-Ed, Pizza in fridge.”

In 1900, fathers and sons would have heart-to-heart conversations while fishing in a stream.

Today, fathers pluck the headphones off their sons’ ears and shout, “WHEN YOU HAVE A MINUTE..”

In 1900, a father gave a pencil box for Christmas, and the kid was all smiles.

Today, a father spends $800 at Toys ‘R’ Us, and the kid screams: “I wanted Sega!”

In 1900, if a father had breakfast in bed, it was eggs and bacon and ham and potatoes.

Today, it’s Special K, soy milk, dry toast and a lecture on cholesterol.

In 1900, a Father’s Day gift would be a hand tool.

Today, he’ll get a digital organizer.

In 1900, fathers said, “A man’s home is his castle.”

Today, they say, “Welcome to the money pit.”

In 1900, “a good day at the market” meant Father brought home feed for the horses.

Today, “a good day at the market” means Dad got in early on an IPO.

In 1900, a happy meal was when Father shared funny stories around the table.

Today, a happy meal is what Dad buys at McDonald’s.

In 1900, a father was involved if he spanked the kid now and then.

Today, a father’s involved only if he coaches Little League and organizes Boy Scouts and car pools.

In 1900, when fathers entered the room, children often rose to attention.

Today, kids glance up and grunt, “Dad, you’re invading my space.”

In 1900, fathers threatened their daughters suiters with shotguns if the girl came home late.

Today, fathers break the ice by saying, “So…how long have you had that earring?”

In 1900, fathers pined for the old school, which meant a one-room, red-brick building.

Today, fathers pine for the old school, which means Dr J and Mickey Mantle.

In 1900, fathers were never truly appreciated.

In 2001, fathers are never truly appreciated.