What if the Internet were turned off for a day? I don’t know about you, but I’d die. I almost didn’t write this for fear of somebody making good on the idea. I don’t know who that’d be, but it scares the living daylights out of me. If I couldn’t go online for my constant daily dose, I believe I’d risk losing my identity. I would suddenly become no one. No Facebooking for a whole day? You must be kidding. I am nearly nauseous.
Would the TV get me through it? No, they’d all have to shut down for the day, too. Like satellite TV could exist without the Net? I might be stuck with radio. No, they’d probably be toast, too. And, completely forget about banking. Wall Street wouldn’t stand a chance. Heck, we probably wouldn’t even have electricity. Get the candles and read like Abe Lincoln used to (which way do you turn the pages, is it right to left?).
I might have to pound out my ideas on my Royal standard typewriter. I wonder if it still works. I doubt my fingers could take the pounding, or my brain. Too noisy. I’d have to soak the ribbon in WD-40 to see if I could revive the ink. Yikes, I doubt I even own any white-out. Oh no, not an eraser! Talk about caveman days.
Let’s face it, the world would come to a standstill. No subways, no buses, no trains, no airplanes flying, no credit cards, no nothin’. Then, here’s the worst possibility of all…
What if I liked it?
Say it ain’t so. Going backward to a time when things moved more slowly and you actually talked to a neighbor (I wonder if they’ve moved?) sounds so strange. Kids might fill the streets to play games. That wouldn’t be good. They could get a blister. Or worse, get some exercise. The racket they’d cause would be deafening. Howling, laughing, playing, joking, refusing to come in for dinner: total anarchy.
No, the world’s a much safer and better place indoors. You don’t risk being hit by flying debris, or the odd weather event. Human-suffered lightning strikes must certainly be way down since the advent of the World Wide Web. If we started spending too much time outdoors, I’m sure it would somehow increase Global Warming from that sudden surge of CO2.